Misunderstanding

ANOTHER POEM! I’ll get back to regular posts soon, I swear. I wrote this one for my Writer’s Craft class in grade 12, so I don’t think anyone I know personally has seen it. It’s a sonnet. A Petrarchan sonnet to be exact, according to the Word doc I handed in. I would NEVER in a million years write a sonnet without being forced to do so. Rhyming is so hard.

So this, I believe, is about forgiving my first ex-boyfriend for all the stupid shit he did. However, I believe that this was written BEFORE I found out the actual truth and not just the half-truth. I think this would have sounded more like “FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE, AND THIS STUPID FUCKING SONNET, AND THIS STUPID FUCKING CLASS” if so. I did eventually calm down.

I could be totally wrong but I think that I was envisioning what would happen if I simply walked away – it might sound easier but I would regret it, and the ‘turn’ comes when I realize that things weren’t all the seemed and he deserved forgiveness.

Misunderstanding
Early 2010

A new year waves as it passes by
to mark the date of the day I ran,
my memories hidden, treasure deep in sand.
I thought escaping all your lies
was a better resolution than to try
fixing something forever broken without a plan.
Now we’re standing where it began
and my regret looms, a mountain before my eyes.

There you are at my feet, an obituary
of the life I left behind. Salty water leaks into my hands reaching for your hair,
flooding my mind with visions contrary
to what I once believed. Your steel glare
now replaced with clarity, you become the wronged adversary.
Forgiveness penetrates without the usual fanfare.

Best Before

Best Before 

February 16th, 2011

I wish you came with a warning sign,
some indication that you would change,
and want to move across the country
or the world
with or without
me

You’re a carcass
with the same polished exterior
but something frightening and sinister inside
I’d roll over in the morning
to come face to face with a corpse
I don’t recognize

Maybe I could have
spared myself the trouble
and told myself
that this is the best before date
after which I would have to leave
before we expired

The second poem I dug up from my earlier adulthood. If you can call 18 adult.

This one is also about my ex-boyfriend, except it actually is about the second one this time. I mean I totally did have this moment with the first one too, but not in this way. This was when I started realizing that he wasn’t necessarily who I thought he was, or who he actually was 6 months prior when we started dating. And I was like, “Yes, I should leave,” which would be nice except for the fact that I didn’t do that for another year and a half.

Also, the next time I am mad at a boy who breaks my heart I will spit at him venomously, “You’re…a…carcass…sss”. I think that would be simultaneously badass and hilarious. I very much wish that I had re-read this a month ago so I could use that line.

Again, if you want to read more of my fiction, you can check it out on FictionPress here.